Pam Halter
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Things I've Learned - part one
Wednesday, April 3, 2013 by pam

April is Autism Awareness Month. There are things I've learned through this adventure of life with Anna. To honor that, I want to share some of those things. The first thing is my take on what's true.

It's true God doesn't make mistakes. It's true we are fearfully and wonderfully made. It's true God makes people with handicaps (see Exodus 4:11-12). It's true that, as God's child, He has orchestrated events in my life. Therefore, it's true He planned for me to have a child born with autism, seizures, mental retardation and vonWillebrand disease.

From this I have learned it's true I am selfish. I am discontented. I am tired. I am weak. I am frustrated. I question my salvation and faith. I am unsure of God. Nothing shows me these things more than when I've lost my temper with Anna and she wraps her arm around my neck and says "luh you!"

But it's also true I am determined. I am stubborn. And I am stronger than I think. And nothing shows me these things more than when I look at Anna and smile and she smiles back and says, "Mommy" with such adoration in her eyes I want to beat my breast and weep. Instead, I resolve to try harder to be a better mommy.

Until I blow it again.

It's true when God shows us the truth about ourselves, we are broken. And it's true when we are broken, God can have His way with us. And when God has His way with us, we become more like Christ. No better place to be for a Christian!

And that's the truth.


Comments

Julie Ann Monzi From Gettysburg At 4/3/2013 11:48:00 AM

That's beautiful, Pam.

Carolyn Ruch From Hatfield, PA At 4/3/2013 8:46:46 AM

Oh Pam, so true and so well said. Once again, thank you for your honesty.

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