It’s okay if you don’t have the right words. Sometimes, it’s better to say nothing. I know people want to say the right thing to provide comfort or encouragement, but really, you don’t have to. Maybe a hug or a smile would be enough for a struggling parent. Or how about a cup of coffee and a brownie? Or an offer to sit with a child so the parent get a shower without begging God to keep their child safe for ten minutes?
Listen, don’t feel bad if you don’t know what to say. There are times when I don’t have the right words, either. And I often don’t have the strength to talk about it, anyway. I am more than Anna’s mommy. Talking about other things can help relieve the constant stress.
I have one more request. Stop sending articles, newspaper clippings and books about kids with special needs. Especially the ones where the child overcomes their disability and writes poetry or music. It doesn’t help me to read about other children doing things Anna will never be able to do. Like I said above, I’m more than Anna’s mommy. I enjoy cooking, quilting, reading, gardening and more. Please see me for who I am.
Don’t forget the daddies. My husband doesn’t have the bulk of Anna’s care, but he’s under just as much stress, sometimes more. He worries about Anna, but he also worries about me and my health. Ask the father how he’s doing and if you can do anything to help. He enjoys a cup of coffee with a friend, too. Although in our case, Daryl enjoys chocolate chip cookies more than brownies.
Most of all, think about what you would want someone to say to you if you were in the same position. You’ll never go wrong that way.
What If She Outlives Me?
pam
10/30/2024
Good from Covid?
pam
5/18/2023
Encouragement from a fellow special mama
pam
7/31/2020
A Sister's Love
pam
5/16/2019
Medical Moms
pam
1/26/2019
The Power of Doritos
pam
5/7/2018
Yay For Friends!
pam
1/9/2018
Show You!
pam
9/11/2017
Happy? 26th Birthday, Anna
pam
5/15/2017
Re-grouping
pam
3/14/2017
We can relate!
pam
9/1/2016
A Little Fall Fun
pam
10/18/2015
Going Commando
pam
10/5/2015
So Behind
pam
9/22/2015
Stares and Storytime
pam
4/12/2015
Big Big Changes
pam
3/27/2015
Blog Post on Autism
pam
9/22/2014
The Power of Pets
pam
9/12/2014
Depression's Demands
pam
8/15/2014
Do We or Don't We?
pam
8/4/2014
Falling Down
pam
6/22/2014
Research Study
pam
5/23/2014
Who goes? Who stays?
pam
5/19/2014
Being Thankful
pam
4/25/2014
Excellent Article
pam
4/7/2014
Jury Duty and Holland
pam
3/27/2014
I Confess
pam
3/17/2014
The Dreaded Medication Change
pam
3/4/2014
Keeping It Together - part seven
pam
2/24/2014
Keeping it Together - part six
pam
2/10/2014
A Milestone Day
pam
2/3/2014
Keeping it together - part five
pam
1/21/2014
Keeping It Together - part four
pam
1/3/2014
Keeping it Together - part three
pam
12/16/2013
Keeping it Together - part two
pam
12/9/2013
Keeping it Together - part one
pam
12/5/2013
Catching Up
pam
11/13/2013
The Perfect House
pam
10/25/2013
Another Mom in the Mix
pam
10/7/2013
Grieving the Loss
pam
9/24/2013
Great article
pam
9/11/2013
This and That
pam
9/9/2013
Fun in the ER
pam
8/30/2013
Bless me, Anna!
pam
8/14/2013
Talk to me, Anna!
pam
8/8/2013
God's Will
pam
7/30/2013
Update on Anna's bloodwork
pam
7/24/2013
Stirring the Cesspool
pam
7/11/2013
Vacation and Other Fun Stuff
pam
7/3/2013
A Day at the Beach
pam
6/17/2013
Anna's Surgery Experience
pam
6/5/2013
No Place For Anna
pam
5/26/2013
Painful Gifts
pam
5/21/2013
Happy 22nd Birthday, Anna!
pam
5/15/2013
A Rough Day
pam
5/6/2013
Things I've Learned - part five
pam
4/30/2013
Things I've Learned - part four
pam
4/22/2013
Things I've Learned - part three
pam
4/15/2013
Things I've Learned - part two
pam
4/9/2013
Interview with Terri Groh
pam
4/5/2013
Things I've Learned - part one
pam
4/3/2013
The Things People Say - part eight
pam
3/27/2013
Comparisons
pam
3/18/2013
Why Is It A Blessing?
pam
3/11/2013
Tim's Place
pam
3/8/2013
New Medication Worries
pam
3/5/2013
A Night Out for Anna
pam
2/25/2013
Play it again, Sam
pam
2/20/2013
Happy Birthday
pam
2/15/2013
The Anna Bowl
pam
2/4/2013
The Queen of Babble-on
pam
1/30/2013
Really, people?
pam
1/25/2013
Cold Feet
pam
1/23/2013
Hearing God
pam
1/15/2013
Running Away
pam
1/10/2013
Post-Christmas-Reentry-Syndrome
pam
1/4/2013
Emmanuel, God With Us
pam
12/17/2012
Take Heart
pam
12/7/2012
Jumping in the Leaves
pam
11/27/2012
Being Thankful
pam
11/19/2012
Patience and Love and Wretchedness
pam
11/13/2012
A Typical Halter Vacation
pam
11/8/2012
Is This Really My Life?
pam
11/1/2012
Frankenstorm
pam
10/27/2012
A Small Victory at Anna's Program
pam
10/24/2012
Update on the problem at Anna's program
pam
10/22/2012
The Fight Goes On
pam
10/19/2012
Fighting the Good Fight
pam
10/18/2012
Sit down, Anna
pam
10/16/2012
The Things People Say - conclusion
pam
10/15/2012
The Cloaking Device
pam
10/12/2012
The Things People Say - part seven
pam
10/11/2012
The Things People Say - part six
pam
10/10/2012
The Things People Say - part five
pam
10/9/2012
The Things People Say - part four
pam
10/4/2012
The Things People Say - part three
pam
10/3/2012
The Things People Say - part two
pam
10/2/2012
The Things People Say - part one
pam
10/1/2012
Godzilla Lives at my House
pam
9/27/2012
The Early Bird Gets Eaten
pam
9/26/2012
Over and Over Again
pam
9/25/2012
What Good Are Seizures?
pam
9/21/2012
Why Me?
pam
9/20/2012
The Rest of my Life?
pam
9/19/2012
Feelings
Pam
9/18/2012