What If She Outlives Me?

What If She Outlives Me?
Wednesday, October 30, 2024 by pam

I don’t know any parent of a special needs child that doesn’t have this fear. What if she outlives me?

What do we do with this question? For Daryl and I, we have our younger daughter, Mary, who will step up and do what’s needed for Anna. But not every family has someone they can depend on to do the right thing for their special needs child or children.

Can I tell you how God has taken care of Anna over the years? I’ve seen “normal” and supernatural care for her, and I thank God often for that care. Sure, there are times when Anna will have a seizure and fall or hit her head and off to the ER we go. She has always received great care. If you’ve been reading this blog, or if you’re friends with me on Facebook, you’ve seen that.

About 7 ½ years ago, Mary joined the New Life Drama Company. She traveled all over the country, telling people about Jesus through drama, music, and testimony. I was ridiculously proud of her! When Covid hit, that all shut down. Mary is now working full time for Oasis Community Church in Scottsdale, AZ. It has become her home. She has friends who love her deeply, and the only things she misses about the East Coast is family, friends, and the Atlantic Ocean.

Daryl and I take turns flying out to visit her. Just a few weeks ago, I went out because Mary was in a play; Pride & Prejudice. And she had the fabulous part of Mrs. Bennet! (If you’re a Jane Austen fan, you can relate to my excitement when she got that part!)

I flew out on a Wednesday. Thursday morning, Daryl called me to say Anna had a seizure in the driveway with Bonnie, and she had fallen and hit her head on the cement. They were off to the ER. This is not the first time it’s happened. Not even the second or third time. What you need to know about Anna’s seizures is that there is literally no warning for them. And you can have both hands on her and still lose her. It’s crazy!

I have been there every single time … except this one. I was almost all the way across the country. I can only describe the feelings as uncomfortable and awkward. Did Anna wonder why I wasn’t there? Would Daryl let the doctors do whatever they wanted? Was she in pain? Just how bad was it? I had no choice but to trust God.

I emailed and texted friends to pray, then I went to the pool and swam laps while I waited to hear something. Anna ended up with 10 staples in her scalp. She did great! They did a CT scan without sedation, and they even put the staples in without numbing shots (which can be worse than the staples).

I praised God over and over. And I enjoyed my visit and the show and came home without any other incidents.

I was home about 2 weeks when God nudged me. What if Anna outlived me? He would continue to take care of her. He doesn’t change. I was all the way across the country, and He was with her and took care of her. Can you say peace of mind? How kind of God to show me that! He didn’t have to. He could have let me get to the end of my life and wonder. But that’s God. He loves me so much, He showed me that Anna will be cared for if she outlives me.

I’m listening to Jordan Feliz’s song, Witness, on YouTube right now https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgD92xLlNGs Can I get a witness from anyone reading this??

Friends, God does not change. He loves us, our children, and our grandchildren waaaay more than we can ever begin to understand. He loves Anna. She loves Him.

What if Anna outlives me? She will continue to be in God’s hands and His care. Glory to His Name!

Comments

Paula Dilks From Pennsville At 10/31/2024 8:11:25 PM

Pam I 100% understand. My hubby just turned 80, I’ll be 63 & we have a 32 month old daughter who was born w/ multiple drugs in her system. We don’t worry, but know that if we should leave this earth before The Rapture, we have taken legal steps to make sure she will be adopted by her godparents.

Reply by: Pam Halter

It's always good to be wise while trusting in the Lord!

Tracy Gant From Pennsville, NJ At 10/31/2024 3:31:21 PM

Thank you for the wonderful read. It not only applies to special needs children, this applies to everyone.

Reply by: Pam Halter

Amen, girl!

Mark Barrineau From Norfolk, Va At 10/31/2024 7:28:45 AM

Comforting to know that God will provide...

Reply by: Pam Halter

Sure is!

Debbie Clarke Sauer From Yulee, Fl At 10/31/2024 7:21:30 AM

I love following Anna's life. You and Darrell are amazing in every way. I was a mentor at MBNA of a down syndrome young man. His parents put him into independent living because they were much older that you. I love the life you share with Anna. Keep the faith. ??

Reply by: Pam Halter

It's only the grace of God that helps us!

Colleen From Chile At 10/31/2024 6:44:12 AM

What a lovely, encouraging post, Pam. Thank you.

Reply by: Pam Halter

Thank the Lord!!

Gene Guglielmi From Vineland At 10/30/2024 9:15:47 PM

????????

Reply by: Pam Halter

What's your question, Gene?

Carol Pennington From Vineland, NJ At 10/30/2024 8:44:20 PM

Thank you for sharing. We strive and strive and work until we have nothing left to give and then God gives you a gift of peace. He does love us, and our children, way more than we can imagine.