This week's topic is an awkward one to talk about for most couples. But it's an important one, so read on. I hope this might help at least one couple who is struggling in this area.
Ah, sex and romance. What happened to them? Remember when you could barely leave each other alone? Remember cards and flowers and moonlit strolls on the beach? I do and I miss it. A lot.
We all know our sex lives fluctuate. It's natural for it to fall off while the kids are young and rediscover it again when the kids are grown and gone. But what about couples like us? In many cases, like mine and Daryl's, our special kids will never grow up and leave the nest. Anna won't. And Anna has seizures every day, sometimes at night. Because of this, I sleep in the same bed with her. I've saved her from suffocating in her pillow several times. How can I leave her alone all night, knowing this happens during a seizure? Daryl sleeps in our bedroom by himself. This does not create sexual intimacy between us. Maybe it's that way for you, too. So, what can we do?
Well, it could be exciting to try and figure out how and when we can grab some intimate time. We could plan and scheme and come up with all sorts of ideas. We could have FUN, for heaven's sake! So we don’t have all night at each other's side. That doesn't mean we can't have a full and healthy sex life. We just need to make the commitment to find time.
We also need to take advantage of unplanned time. Mary is in college. Anna is in a day program. There have been times when Daryl was home and we had the house to ourselves and did not take advantage of it. This creates tension between us because, frankly, I feel unwanted when he doesn't ask me during times like this. Which brings up another point. It doesn't have to be – it shouldn't be – one sided. Girls, go after your man!
Most importantly, talk about it. That's one of the REAL conversations you can have. For most people, sex is not easy to talk about. It's a deeply personal subject. But if you want healthy intimacy, you're going to have to swallow your pride, cool your blush, and talk. Men, just because your wife wants something different or more in the bedroom is not a message that you're not good enough. It's a shout out that you're doing something so RIGHT, she wants you even more! Doesn't that make you feel great? Women, TELL HIM how much you enjoy him. He will respond accordingly, much to your increased pleasure.
Listen to what each other needs. I bet it's pretty much the same thing. We all need to feel desirable and wanted. You'll be amazed at how all is right with the world when you've enjoyed your spouse this way.
Encouragement from a fellow special mama
7/31/2020 3:36:00 PM by: pam
A Sister's Love
5/16/2019 7:58:00 AM by: pam
Medical Moms
1/26/2019 7:03:00 AM by: pam
The Power of Doritos
5/7/2018 12:00:00 PM by: pam
Yay For Friends!
1/9/2018 3:15:00 PM by: pam
Show You!
9/11/2017 12:58:00 PM by: pam
Happy? 26th Birthday, Anna
5/15/2017 7:37:00 AM by: pam
Re-grouping
3/14/2017 8:10:00 AM by: pam
We can relate!
9/1/2016 8:00:00 AM by: pam
A Little Fall Fun
10/18/2015 8:04:11 AM by: pam
Going Commando
10/5/2015 6:37:04 PM by: pam
So Behind
9/22/2015 8:42:33 AM by: pam
Stares and Storytime
4/12/2015 7:12:46 AM by: pam
Big Big Changes
3/27/2015 9:12:27 AM by: pam
Blog Post on Autism
9/22/2014 7:30:14 AM by: pam
The Power of Pets
9/12/2014 4:21:44 PM by: pam
Depression's Demands
8/15/2014 2:19:26 PM by: pam
Do We or Don't We?
8/4/2014 12:00:01 AM by: pam
Falling Down
6/22/2014 1:36:52 PM by: pam
Research Study
5/23/2014 12:48:08 PM by: pam
Who goes? Who stays?
5/19/2014 12:11:51 PM by: pam
Being Thankful
4/25/2014 7:37:26 AM by: pam
Excellent Article
4/7/2014 7:03:09 AM by: pam
Jury Duty and Holland
3/27/2014 7:36:35 AM by: pam
I Confess
3/17/2014 8:11:55 AM by: pam
The Dreaded Medication Change
3/4/2014 12:49:56 PM by: pam
Keeping It Together - part seven
2/24/2014 1:03:18 PM by: pam
Keeping it Together - part six
2/10/2014 8:20:16 AM by: pam
A Milestone Day
2/3/2014 8:13:17 AM by: pam
Keeping it together - part five
1/21/2014 6:43:18 AM by: pam
Keeping It Together - part four
1/3/2014 7:56:02 AM by: pam
Keeping it Together - part three
12/16/2013 7:34:46 AM by: pam
Keeping it Together - part two
12/9/2013 6:30:25 AM by: pam
Keeping it Together - part one
12/5/2013 8:00:03 AM by: pam
Catching Up
11/13/2013 8:22:00 AM by: pam
The Perfect House
10/25/2013 8:06:56 AM by: pam
Another Mom in the Mix
10/7/2013 3:11:58 PM by: pam
Grieving the Loss
9/24/2013 8:39:13 AM by: pam
Great article
9/11/2013 1:06:06 PM by: pam
This and That
9/9/2013 4:09:18 PM by: pam
Fun in the ER
8/30/2013 9:17:32 AM by: pam
Bless me, Anna!
8/14/2013 1:51:41 PM by: pam
Talk to me, Anna!
8/8/2013 5:04:30 PM by: pam
God's Will
7/30/2013 3:13:08 PM by: pam
Update on Anna's bloodwork
7/24/2013 6:31:05 AM by: pam
Stirring the Cesspool
7/11/2013 6:27:11 AM by: pam
Vacation and Other Fun Stuff
7/3/2013 5:46:28 AM by: pam
A Day at the Beach
6/17/2013 8:05:05 AM by: pam
Anna's Surgery Experience
6/5/2013 12:03:49 PM by: pam
No Place For Anna
5/26/2013 8:27:52 AM by: pam
Painful Gifts
5/21/2013 8:56:57 AM by: pam
Happy 22nd Birthday, Anna!
5/15/2013 6:48:55 AM by: pam
A Rough Day
5/6/2013 6:18:44 AM by: pam
Things I've Learned - part five
4/30/2013 8:02:08 AM by: pam
Things I've Learned - part four
4/22/2013 6:51:41 AM by: pam
Things I've Learned - part three
4/15/2013 6:14:06 AM by: pam
Things I've Learned - part two
4/9/2013 7:40:11 AM by: pam
Interview with Terri Groh
4/5/2013 5:44:08 AM by: pam
Things I've Learned - part one
4/3/2013 7:55:42 AM by: pam
The Things People Say - part eight
3/27/2013 6:06:08 AM by: pam
Comparisons
3/18/2013 8:06:43 AM by: pam
Why Is It A Blessing?
3/11/2013 6:24:04 AM by: pam
Tim's Place
3/8/2013 11:57:02 AM by: pam
New Medication Worries
3/5/2013 6:38:36 AM by: pam
A Night Out for Anna
2/25/2013 11:29:44 AM by: pam
Play it again, Sam
2/20/2013 5:47:32 AM by: pam
Happy Birthday
2/15/2013 5:32:13 AM by: pam
The Anna Bowl
2/4/2013 8:01:33 AM by: pam
The Queen of Babble-on
1/30/2013 12:45:36 PM by: pam
Really, people?
1/25/2013 7:36:11 AM by: pam
Cold Feet
1/23/2013 7:55:46 AM by: pam
Hearing God
1/15/2013 6:58:57 AM by: pam
Running Away
1/10/2013 11:19:00 AM by: pam
Post-Christmas-Reentry-Syndrome
1/4/2013 6:49:36 AM by: pam
Emmanuel, God With Us
12/17/2012 6:51:08 AM by: pam
Take Heart
12/7/2012 4:42:07 AM by: pam
Jumping in the Leaves
11/27/2012 5:56:16 AM by: pam
Being Thankful
11/19/2012 7:02:07 AM by: pam
Patience and Love and Wretchedness
11/13/2012 7:38:47 AM by: pam
A Typical Halter Vacation
11/8/2012 8:35:45 AM by: pam
Is This Really My Life?
11/1/2012 5:21:04 AM by: pam
Frankenstorm
10/27/2012 4:22:45 PM by: pam
A Small Victory at Anna's Program
10/24/2012 7:21:36 AM by: pam
Update on the problem at Anna's program
10/22/2012 8:23:51 AM by: pam
The Fight Goes On
10/19/2012 4:55:06 AM by: pam
Fighting the Good Fight
10/18/2012 7:01:44 AM by: pam
Sit down, Anna
10/16/2012 6:44:47 AM by: pam
The Things People Say - conclusion
10/15/2012 8:32:45 AM by: pam
The Cloaking Device
10/12/2012 6:22:27 AM by: pam
The Things People Say - part seven
10/11/2012 5:56:56 AM by: pam
The Things People Say - part six
10/10/2012 5:35:53 AM by: pam
The Things People Say - part five
10/9/2012 6:59:06 AM by: pam
The Things People Say - part four
10/4/2012 6:00:52 AM by: pam
The Things People Say - part three
10/3/2012 6:09:22 AM by: pam
The Things People Say - part two
10/2/2012 5:29:13 AM by: pam
The Things People Say - part one
10/1/2012 7:52:27 AM by: pam
Godzilla Lives at my House
9/27/2012 6:58:41 AM by: pam
The Early Bird Gets Eaten
9/26/2012 5:22:30 AM by: pam
Over and Over Again
9/25/2012 5:15:50 AM by: pam
What Good Are Seizures?
9/21/2012 11:48:29 AM by: pam
Why Me?
9/20/2012 8:37:32 AM by: pam
The Rest of my Life?
9/19/2012 5:47:36 AM by: pam
Feelings
9/18/2012 1:23:56 PM by: Pam