How do you handle your other children when your special child needs so much attention and care? It's so important to make time for each of your children. Because Anna's medical needs were so great, I couldn't get a full-time job. I worked for a short time as church secretary because the hours were flexible and I could take Anna and Mary with me. Daryl and I made the decision for me to leave that job after my miscarriage. It gave me time to spend with both girls and get Anna to her therapies three times a week.
When Mary was four-years-old, I began to home school her. I do not recommend this for everyone, but it worked for us. Not only did Mary have my full time attention for education, we were able to do fun things, as well. I home-schooled her through seventh grade before she entered public school.
If you don't want to home-school, what can you do to make your other children feel wanted and loved? If you are a stay-at-home parent, you're there in the morning and afternoons. Have a snack ready and sit with your child for ten minutes. Most of our special kids go out to some kind of program. Perhaps your special child gets home later than your other children. That will give you time. If not, make a schedule or date with your other children. Our kids are kids for a short season, so while you're exhausted and filled to the brim with care giving, you're going to need to make yourself do this. It will be so worth it in the future.
Be honest with your children. Don't hide the hard work having a special needs child can be. Don't show your resentment, but don’t make light of it. Explain that God has given your family this child for a reason, even if you can't see it. He will help you all deal with it, if you let Him. Of course, this is easier said than done, but we have to try.
Let your other children help. Teach them about the disability. Make them feel important. Appreciate anything they do, no matter how small. Tell them you love them, appreciate them, and you're thankful you have them. Mary helps with Anna – always has – more about this in another post. There's too much to tell here.
Get respite care, for heaven's sake! We get 15-20 hours a month of child care for Anna and we can hire anyone we want. I can't tell you what a blessing it is to be able to leave Anna with someone I trust and spend time with Daryl or Mary or my girlfriends. I'd go nuts if I didn't have it. When you get a break, you'll be a better mommy or daddy – to all your children.
Make sure brothers and sisters feel loved and just as an important part of the family as your special child. In the long run, this will strengthen your marriage because marriage depends on family togetherness, not just the two of you.
Ephesians 6:4 "Fathers (and mothers), do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."
Proverbs 14:26 "He who fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge."
Encouragement from a fellow special mama
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A Sister's Love
5/16/2019 7:58:00 AM by: pam
Medical Moms
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The Power of Doritos
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Yay For Friends!
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Show You!
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Happy? 26th Birthday, Anna
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Re-grouping
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We can relate!
9/1/2016 8:00:00 AM by: pam
A Little Fall Fun
10/18/2015 8:04:11 AM by: pam
Going Commando
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So Behind
9/22/2015 8:42:33 AM by: pam
Stares and Storytime
4/12/2015 7:12:46 AM by: pam
Big Big Changes
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Blog Post on Autism
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The Power of Pets
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Depression's Demands
8/15/2014 2:19:26 PM by: pam
Do We or Don't We?
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Falling Down
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Research Study
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Who goes? Who stays?
5/19/2014 12:11:51 PM by: pam
Being Thankful
4/25/2014 7:37:26 AM by: pam
Excellent Article
4/7/2014 7:03:09 AM by: pam
Jury Duty and Holland
3/27/2014 7:36:35 AM by: pam
I Confess
3/17/2014 8:11:55 AM by: pam
The Dreaded Medication Change
3/4/2014 12:49:56 PM by: pam
Keeping It Together - part seven
2/24/2014 1:03:18 PM by: pam
Keeping it Together - part six
2/10/2014 8:20:16 AM by: pam
A Milestone Day
2/3/2014 8:13:17 AM by: pam
Keeping it together - part five
1/21/2014 6:43:18 AM by: pam
Keeping It Together - part four
1/3/2014 7:56:02 AM by: pam
Keeping it Together - part three
12/16/2013 7:34:46 AM by: pam
Keeping it Together - part two
12/9/2013 6:30:25 AM by: pam
Keeping it Together - part one
12/5/2013 8:00:03 AM by: pam
Catching Up
11/13/2013 8:22:00 AM by: pam
The Perfect House
10/25/2013 8:06:56 AM by: pam
Another Mom in the Mix
10/7/2013 3:11:58 PM by: pam
Grieving the Loss
9/24/2013 8:39:13 AM by: pam
Great article
9/11/2013 1:06:06 PM by: pam
This and That
9/9/2013 4:09:18 PM by: pam
Fun in the ER
8/30/2013 9:17:32 AM by: pam
Bless me, Anna!
8/14/2013 1:51:41 PM by: pam
Talk to me, Anna!
8/8/2013 5:04:30 PM by: pam
God's Will
7/30/2013 3:13:08 PM by: pam
Update on Anna's bloodwork
7/24/2013 6:31:05 AM by: pam
Stirring the Cesspool
7/11/2013 6:27:11 AM by: pam
Vacation and Other Fun Stuff
7/3/2013 5:46:28 AM by: pam
A Day at the Beach
6/17/2013 8:05:05 AM by: pam
Anna's Surgery Experience
6/5/2013 12:03:49 PM by: pam
No Place For Anna
5/26/2013 8:27:52 AM by: pam
Painful Gifts
5/21/2013 8:56:57 AM by: pam
Happy 22nd Birthday, Anna!
5/15/2013 6:48:55 AM by: pam
A Rough Day
5/6/2013 6:18:44 AM by: pam
Things I've Learned - part five
4/30/2013 8:02:08 AM by: pam
Things I've Learned - part four
4/22/2013 6:51:41 AM by: pam
Things I've Learned - part three
4/15/2013 6:14:06 AM by: pam
Things I've Learned - part two
4/9/2013 7:40:11 AM by: pam
Interview with Terri Groh
4/5/2013 5:44:08 AM by: pam
Things I've Learned - part one
4/3/2013 7:55:42 AM by: pam
The Things People Say - part eight
3/27/2013 6:06:08 AM by: pam
Comparisons
3/18/2013 8:06:43 AM by: pam
Why Is It A Blessing?
3/11/2013 6:24:04 AM by: pam
Tim's Place
3/8/2013 11:57:02 AM by: pam
New Medication Worries
3/5/2013 6:38:36 AM by: pam
A Night Out for Anna
2/25/2013 11:29:44 AM by: pam
Play it again, Sam
2/20/2013 5:47:32 AM by: pam
Happy Birthday
2/15/2013 5:32:13 AM by: pam
The Anna Bowl
2/4/2013 8:01:33 AM by: pam
The Queen of Babble-on
1/30/2013 12:45:36 PM by: pam
Really, people?
1/25/2013 7:36:11 AM by: pam
Cold Feet
1/23/2013 7:55:46 AM by: pam
Hearing God
1/15/2013 6:58:57 AM by: pam
Running Away
1/10/2013 11:19:00 AM by: pam
Post-Christmas-Reentry-Syndrome
1/4/2013 6:49:36 AM by: pam
Emmanuel, God With Us
12/17/2012 6:51:08 AM by: pam
Take Heart
12/7/2012 4:42:07 AM by: pam
Jumping in the Leaves
11/27/2012 5:56:16 AM by: pam
Being Thankful
11/19/2012 7:02:07 AM by: pam
Patience and Love and Wretchedness
11/13/2012 7:38:47 AM by: pam
A Typical Halter Vacation
11/8/2012 8:35:45 AM by: pam
Is This Really My Life?
11/1/2012 5:21:04 AM by: pam
Frankenstorm
10/27/2012 4:22:45 PM by: pam
A Small Victory at Anna's Program
10/24/2012 7:21:36 AM by: pam
Update on the problem at Anna's program
10/22/2012 8:23:51 AM by: pam
The Fight Goes On
10/19/2012 4:55:06 AM by: pam
Fighting the Good Fight
10/18/2012 7:01:44 AM by: pam
Sit down, Anna
10/16/2012 6:44:47 AM by: pam
The Things People Say - conclusion
10/15/2012 8:32:45 AM by: pam
The Cloaking Device
10/12/2012 6:22:27 AM by: pam
The Things People Say - part seven
10/11/2012 5:56:56 AM by: pam
The Things People Say - part six
10/10/2012 5:35:53 AM by: pam
The Things People Say - part five
10/9/2012 6:59:06 AM by: pam
The Things People Say - part four
10/4/2012 6:00:52 AM by: pam
The Things People Say - part three
10/3/2012 6:09:22 AM by: pam
The Things People Say - part two
10/2/2012 5:29:13 AM by: pam
The Things People Say - part one
10/1/2012 7:52:27 AM by: pam
Godzilla Lives at my House
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The Early Bird Gets Eaten
9/26/2012 5:22:30 AM by: pam
Over and Over Again
9/25/2012 5:15:50 AM by: pam
What Good Are Seizures?
9/21/2012 11:48:29 AM by: pam
Why Me?
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The Rest of my Life?
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Feelings
9/18/2012 1:23:56 PM by: Pam